30 Things We Learned from Our Moms

 

 As difficult as we may be, TDG are big mama's girls. Today, we pay tribute to our number one homegirls with this list of tried and tested life hacks and pieces of advice from Mila and Evelyn. Happy Mother's Day! 

1.  Always wear nice underwear.
2. If possible, wear matching underwear.
3. Enunciate your words well. Mind your long and short vowels. (Pat, putt and pot - there's a big difference.)
4. Never start a sentence with "uhm" or "bale".
5. Don't answer a question with another question. (Mom: Where are you going? TDG: Why?)
6. Always be responsible for your own actions.
7. Never leave home without an ID and a pen.
8. If you're good at something and you're aware of it, don't go foaming at the mouth screaming about it to the whole world. Other people will take notice and tell it upfront if you're really any good.
9. Always bring a handkerchief.
10. Combing your hair or applying your makeup in public may have become common practice, but any girl (difficult or otherwise) who knows proper etiquette will refrain from doing these.
11. Boys will do everything to get into your pants.
12. Never trust people who suck up to you. Beware of people who shower you with compliments.
13. Slice a piece of your steak, then eat that piece. Never slice the whole steak into bite size morsels, then eat everything at once.
14. Never let your boyfriend carry your handbag. If you do, walking out on him gets more difficult. Besides, your handbag is meant to complement your outfit - not his.
15. "Mortgage" is pronounced with a silent T, and the ph in "shepherd" is pronounced as P.
16. Never side with any party of a feuding couple.
17. Adobo tastes so much better a few days after it is cooked. (Of course when refrigerated properly, silly!)
18. Leggings are not pants. Printed leggings, still not pants. Only wear leggings if your top adequately covers the fanny area.
19. Not all people are as smart as you would like them to be.
20. Underwear should remain invisible to the public at all times. (Plastic bra straps are not an exemption.)
21. Your weight and your income - you can give estimates, but the exact figures are none of their business.
22. Neutral colors are not boring. You can wear an all grey ensemble but still look dazzling if you carry the right attitude.
23. Drink water first thing in the morning and before going to bed.
24. Slouching is never attractive.
25. Never go grocery shopping when hungry...or angry. You'll end up with a truckload of things you don't really need (i.e. five jars of Nutella, rolls of duct tape and Winnie the Pooh cotton candy in various flavors).
26. If you accidentally cut yourself, wash the injured area under running water and pat the open wound on your hair to stop the bleeding. Works best for paper cuts.
27. Say "Thank you." and "I'm sorry." whenever necessary and mean it.
28. Always tip your hairdresser and manicurist. You will regret your next visit if you don't.
29. It is better to go hungry than to lose your pride.
30. Always clean your tongue when brushing your teeth.

To our moms, why'd you have to be so infinitely wise?  Thank you for putting us under *immense* pressure. 


xx, 
Two Difficult Girls 


Howsabout ya, chums? Any wonderful words of wisdom from your moms? We'd love to hear em.