6 Snacks From When My World Was Perfect

Summer brings about a certain ache of nostalgia, especially when the Holy Week rolls in and for the first time in a long time, you have absolutely nothing to do.  Broke and without anywhere special to go, bittersweet childhood memories come trickling in your head as you repeatedly press F5 on Facebook. As with most millennials, Two Difficult Girls are obsessed with reliving the True Wonder Years – that summer you spent on your grandfather’s beat-up bicycle, when you finally learned how to catch a dragonfly and how to blow bubble with gum. 

If you can’t find your Delorean, you can always stuff your face with these snacks from your childhood while watching re-runs of Ren and Stimpy. 

Mysteriously Tangy (photo from: www.destraido.blogspot.com)

Haw Flakes – Up to this day, I have no idea what these peculiar-tasting discs are made of (and I want to keep it that way). Before Starbucks, cigarettes and vodka – Haw Flakes were the top socializing agent of my time. You didn’t eat them for the taste and most definitely not for sustenance either. You eat them because you were too young to actually receive the Holy Communion, so you take turns with friends playing Priest-and-Parishioner until one of your aunts walk in and scold you for the sacrilege.

That's right, you put a ring on it. (Photo from www.flickr.com/photos/gniv)

 Pritos Ring – The only legit way of eating this squid-flavoured snack is to put one around each finger and bite them off one by one. Am I right or am I right? 

What?? No?

Dude, you don’t eat sushi with a fork. Endof.

It was more or less this big...maybe less. (Art from www.i39.photobucket.com)

Big Boy Bubble Gum – “Big, big gum for a big, big bubble.” Now, that’s truth in advertising. I remember blowing this big-ass bubble during recess when I was in first grade (or second grade) and boy, it was the biggest bubble I ever made so I could not resist showing it off to the class. Unfortunately, just as I was starting to enjoy the accolade of my peers, the said bubble popped and fell directly on a female classmate’s head.

Let me just make one thing clear. Yes, I hated her back then but that was purely accidental. I can’t remember if our homeroom teacher had to use gasoline on her hair or had to cut some locks off, but she sure was pissed as hell.

I was so scared that I’d be sent to the principal’s office, but at one point, I felt like a total bad ass.

Sweet, chewy, milky...and potentially poisonous.

White Rabbit – Ahh, the badassery continues! White Rabbit was such a big hit not because of the chewy milk candy, but because of its edible wrapping “paper”. Everyone jumped at the chance to eat this in front of younger kids, because it was so much fun to freak them out. You instantly gain street cred because you can freaking eat paper like true blue mofo.

Years later, I began seeing knock-offs in stores. You know, the kind that were as tough as truck tires to chew and wrapped in REAL paper. Seriously, counterfeit candy?

Even later, health authorities were able to find traces of Melamine in these beloved creamy milk chews. I began to question whether or not my short attention span and occasional "shiny happy fits of rage" can be attributed to partial Melamine poisoning.

Nope. It's not you, it's really just me.

Why is this suddenly hard-to-find and in French??? (Photo from www.elvino.tumblr.com)

Sunshine Green Peas – These are, hands down, the best rendering of legumes ever. Crunchy, salty but with a hint of sweetness, Sunshine Green Peas are a reminder that sometimes, the best things do come in small packages. When I was a kid, it only cost 50 cents per packet. I felt like I had so much purchasing power. I could actually feed an entire gang with twenty pesos worth of Sunshine. Awesome balls.

Oh look, labels in French! Hey you Euro hipsters, I was gobbling up this stuff way before you bought your first pair of horn-rimmed glasses!

Hyperglycemia in a gulp!

Fanta Softdrinks – Fanta was essentially Diabetes in a bottle. It was waaaay sweeter than most carbonated drinks of my childhood. I remember seeing a print ad in a magazine which showed a doll with really horrible teeth, resulting from too much sweets. It scared the shiitake out of me, but Fanta always had that irresistible charm. The psychedelic colors made it so hard to turn down a bottle, even with the risk of having all my teeth fall out by age seven. Yeah, I know. Hard core stuff.

Eventually, we’ll have to be able to figure out which wine goes well with Angus steak, which coffee to serve after Tiramisu or which pasta recipe will impress the in-laws. Jollibee birthday spaghetti will have to make way for handmade ravioli. You’ll soon obsess over food labelled sugar-free, gluten-free, organic, free-range, and fair trade. Before you know it, you’ll be catching up with your five best friends over lunch, but everyone will just pick at their alfalfa sprouts.

There’s no need to rush through life, kid.  You still got time left. Grab your coin purse and go on an MSG high just like the good ol’ wonder years.

-- J.

What about you? What are some snacks from your Wonder Years?